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Commentary: Are You Listening?

By Jeanne Pelton

Listen: To make a conscious effort to hear; to attend closely.

I recently came away from an evening spent with friends, very frustrated by the extent to which communication was thwarted because we weren't listening. to each other. We interrupted repeatedly. Were we so short of time we couldn't afford to let a friend finish her sentence? We changed the subject and allowed outside distractions to interrupt. We daydreamed or we all talked at once. We reacted to certain emotionally charged words instead of holding our fire, trying to understand or interpret. We judged the way an idea was expressed, rather than the idea itself. We saw our own ideas as shields and the ideas . of others as spears. If someone paused, we jumped in and started talking, the way aggressive drivers pull ahead into the distance a cautious driver leaves between her car and the one in front.

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There was no depth, no continuity, no learning from or about each other. It was more like a drive on

the freeway than an evening with friends.

I know how much potential there is for healing, for

Peg Averill/New Women's Times

.changing; and for learning when women really listen to each other. Failure to listen to each other is, on .one level, a bad habit: But it is more than just a lapse of manners. It's a lack of receptivity, of active openness that stunts our own potential and distorts our relationships.

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We live.in,an unreceptive culture where people and the electronic media alike compete for air time. We've become so used to tuning out irrelevancies and trivia that we do it to each other. Also we live in a culture that values action more than reflection, talking more than thinking.

It's been estimated that we spend about 80 percent of our waking hours involved in some kind of communication, including relationship building, releasing emotions, sharing information, persuading and listening. (Students spend about 60 to 70 percent of classroom time listening, a skill expected in school but never taught.) There are several phases involved in the listening process: hearing, the physical sensing of sound waves, interpretation, evaluation and reaction. ...Most of us are, at best, ineffective listeners."! Studies have shown that, after listening to a 10-minute oral presentation, the average listener has ; heard, understood, evaluated and retained about half of what was said. Total retention and comprehension 'after 48 hours is about 25 percent.

More pervasive is our ability to shut out, or edit, uncomfortable or conflicting data. One study has shown that we deal with conflicting information by changing' what we "hear" to fit what we already know. Another study demonstrated that people can actually hear more if they are in agreement with what? is being said.

Feminism is hard work. Feminists take respon"

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sibility for making changes in society and in their own lives. They are continually analyzing their own attitudes, trying to combat sexism, racism and classism and trying to build an egalitarian communi ty. I think being a good listener is basic to all these efforts, and a task well worth our fragmented attention and limited energy..

As women, we have been taught to be "good. listeners" for a lot of the wrong reasons. Listening... was presented as a passive activity, as part of the. traditional female role: We were taught that being a good listener meant being a good (i.e, compliant) aŭdience, deferring to the more "important" ideas of others-usually men. Listening meant not expressing. our own opinions, pretending we didn't have them or value them. We weren't taught that listening can be

an active process, the beginning of real communication and learning. We weren't taught that listening is a quiet process of taking in information, sifting, discriminating, understanding, thinking and asking questions.

Perhaps listening to each other is not a crucial or urgent issue compared to the violence and brutality women face on the streets and at home, or the frustration, indifference and indignities we encounter at work, in the courts, and in medical institutions. But listening is something we can do for each other, a way of improving the quality of life within our own community. In failing to listen to each other, both in social situations and in organizational work settings, we are cutting ourselves off from an important source of growth and support. Think about it the next time you have something to say.

Michigan: Women's Space

By Marcia

For most women who have ventured to one.or more music festivals, the term "Michigan" means "music festival". Affectionately, women refer in: general to the place, the time, the experience and the state of mind of the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival simply as "Michigan".

The Seventh Annual Michigan Womyn's Music. Festival this past August, like previous Festivals, was exhilarating. The word "venture" is appropriate because to go to Michigan requires an open spirit, an attitude of acceptance, an appreciation for dif ferences, and a determination to enjoy oneself despite the possibility of some unpleasant conditions.

As women are conditioned to be passive. receivers of direction, comfort and security from others. (usually men), shifting to an active and participatory. role in Michigan may be difficult. Michigan is not run by men. Women are required to participate and contribute to the Festival operations. Women Build the stages and showers, put up the tents, and make the trails. Women work in the kitchen, in the parking. areas, or elsewhere. They plan the music, workshops, services, meals, campsites and health care.. MAIN

In addition to taking control, women also have to.. put up with some physical discomforts. The site of

the Festival is 651 acres of wooded land which, for many, meant hiking for a half hour to meals, taking cold showers, using "portojanes" which may be some distance from your campsite, and the usual subjection to the weather.

Perhaps what is most important about Michigan is that it is women's space. There is tremendous motivation in being in the company of more than 7,000 women apart from men. Several women 1 spake with mentioned that they began speaking louder, walking with better postures, smiling more and generally feeling relaxed. They all attributed it at least in part to being relieved of the threat of living with men. There was no fear of being raped, harassed or otherwise threatened. It does make one stop and think about what kind of world we live in. Women who may have thought men don't oppress women in our society might consider traveling to Michigan next year to feel what it is like to live four days without them.

The music provided both at the day stage and in the evening was of the best quality. Many old and some new faces delighted the audience with their music. There were moments when the audience sprang to their feet to dance and sing along with the

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Women in Music Congress

Delegates from around the world gathered in Las. Angeles in April at the University of Southern California for the Second International Congress on Women in Music. Led by Artistic Director Jeannie Poole and Assistant Director Michele Desrosiers, the Congress drew representatives from twenty different countries, including South Africa, Japan, Austráha, Norway, Mexico, Canada and the United States; Throughout the four days, participants shared their music, ranging from medieval chants to present-day computer-generated compositions, and a great variety of folk and ethnic music, such as jazz, Native American song, music for healing and improvised music/sound/language. Interspersed with the perfofmances were speakers, panels, and informal discus sions.

Many works received world, North American, West Coast premieres, and most of the performances were taped for later broadcast on the Pacifica Rádio 'Network.

As a result of this outstandingly successful Second Congress, an international organization has been

formed to provide a means of communication and advocacy for the many women who contribute to the world's music. The International Congress on Women in Music was founded to facilitate the exchange of information, to organize future meetings of women musicians, to encourage advocacy work with institutions, and to. provide recognition of Outstanding women in music. The organiztion encompasses musicians, composers,, researchers, musicologists, ethnomusicologists, arts administrators, and managers, critics and journalists, educators, and others. Membership is open to individuals, institutions and organizations. Annual membership dues are $20.00 for individuals and institutions, $30.00 for organizations with fewer than 100 members, and $50.00 for organizations with 100 or more members. Clevelanders who are interested in the International Congress on Women in Music are invited to become involved in the activities. Those who would like to participate should contact Beverly Simmons of the "CWRU Music Department, at 249-2759.

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September, 1982/What She Wants/Page 5

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